Managing Stress as a New Dad
Want to find out the easiest ways to enjoy new fatherhood without all the stress? It’s as simple as following an easy list of check offs, and with this list in your pocket, your relationship with the baby and your partner will be stress and worry free. The easiest way to enjoy your new fatherhood is to look beyond the short term issues, and that is what this guide is all about. You must remember what the goal is, and when you have the relationship you want and are able to prove your worth in even this arena, you won’t have any issue with your self esteem tanking from the baby being born.
Stress And Where It Comes From
Find out where the biggest sources of stress for you are and know what they do to you. Knowledge is half the battle.
- The common issue of feeling left out. Many times with a new addition to the house comes the feeling that you are no longer worth what you used to be. This is the number one reaction for new dads.
- New duties. The constant care and attention that newborns need is something that many new fathers are very surprised by. Even if you are prepared for it, the stress that comes from balancing work and the rest of your life with a new person is harsh.
- Lack of sleep. Fatigue from lack of sleep is a killer, and dealing with that plus a newborn and your normal daily routine is something that takes some getting used to, to say the least.
- A lack of time due to work. Paternity leave is a godsend, but many times your business will not give you the leave you need due to work constraints, so dealing with this in addition to the newborn will be hard if it applies.
- Depression. Many fathers will also go through postpartum depression of a sort, and it is not only ok, it is quite common.
- Lack of intimacy. Due to the low energy of your partner after child birth, sexual activity could be at a minimum while they recover, which may come as a shock if they were quite intimate during pregnancy or before pregnancy.
- Less money to go around. The cost of having another person in your house is harsh on the pockets, and it may come as a surprise when it truly hits just how much money it has taken and will continue to take between the health care bills from the hospital and the baby’s first necessities.
How to prepare for the incoming newborn
A new father can do a lot to help the mother through her preparations for having the baby, and these are just a few to get the bases covered:
- Figure out how finances will go. Being prepared money-wise is probably the biggest thing you can do as a father, because when the money is planned out, that is a big stressor out from above the mother’s head.
- Decide what your parenting goals are. When you begin parenting, communication about how to parent needs to happen, but just as much so, you must decide how you want to parent. You can’t come to an agreement if you do not have a position in the first place. Think about your father and how he was. What do you want to propagate and what do you want to leave in the dust?
- Bring other people in to help. It takes a village to raise a child, but to get there requires a network of support for both you and your partner. Make sure that you have a network of friends, health care providers and such to help you through it all as well. Do not let your needs get lost in the ruckus, so to speak.
- Communicate. This is integral to everything in a relationship, this being no different. Good and effective communication about what your partner’s birth plans are and how they want to go through with them is an important part of the entire birth process. Make sure that you know just how your partner wants everything to happen so that you can act as her proxy during the birth.
- Go to their classes. The different types of prenatal classes she goes to are important for you to attend so that you can now how to help as well as just staying on the same page as your partner during the entire process.
- Get involved. Being reminded daily that a kid is coming is something that men do not have happen the same amount of time that women do. Understand that she is constantly reminded and thinking about it, so try to figure out how you can get involved and help her with whatever she is going through.
How Do You Stay Involved After The Birth
When the baby is born, the job has just begun, so how do we make it easier? These are a few tips on where to start being able to manage stress better:
- Stay with your new family. Staying with your family during the first few days is important, and doing it if the hospital will allow it is not something you will regret.
- Give the baby attention. When playing, women tend to give low key attention that is relaxing and important for a newborn to have, while men tend to give noisier, more mobile attention, which is also important for the kid. Make sure that you are involved in the playing with the baby and the attention giving as much as possible.
- Be intimate with your partner. This is the side of intimacy that is not related to intercourse. Make sure that you are there for her when she needs it and are able to keep her first before the baby. She is going through some of the strongest emotions she will ever go through right now, and she needs your help. You need to do most of the time is listen with a caring heart and understand what she is going through.
- Give your partner alone time. As much as your partner will need intimacy, many times they will want some alone time. Make sure that you take care of the baby as much as you can to let her have the option to just take a nap or go off and do her own thing. Making sure that you pull your half of the load will give you many brownie points and help you manage stress much better. Besides, her having less fatigue is always a good idea.
- Don’t be afraid to call out for help. If you and your partner are having issues with anything that is going on, do not be afraid to seek help. This is a new area, and you have many different tools at your disposal. Utilize them and be happier for it.
New fatherhood is a stressful thing to imagine, but it can be much easier with just a few steps. Increase energy that you have and can use with just these few steps and your stress level will be manageable even as you juggle everything you know. It is all easy with a little bit of organization and communication.